Dealing with kids has never been easy but it just got harder when they started talking. Then... they were unstoppable.
Being part of a family means getting some brutal honesty from all your family members. And sometimes, it can be truly savage. Of course, we try our best to be nice because who wants to face the wrath after telling someone their dress isn't exactly flattering or that we can't stand their spouses.
But with kids... it's a whole new ball game. With them, telling the truth is a major part of their personality - intentionally or unintentionally. And when they do let out some very honest opinions, boy it can hit you in every part of your heart. Innocent they may seem but they are some of the most savage, sassy and ruthless little humans with no filter about the truth.
Here are some examples of parents getting so badly roasted by their kids that they're going to need to keep the ice pack for their burns, ready.
6YR OLD: does it hurt, daddy?— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) August 17, 2016
ME: [with a tissue up my nose to stop the bleeding] yes
6: good...that'll teach you not to eat my ice cream
[At dinner]— Tim (@Playing_Dad) January 3, 2016
Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat?
Me: Probably like 90%
D: So it's 10% balls?
Me: *spits out food*
Me: "You didn't even notice my hair!"— Tara Dutkiewicz (@FoodieAndFamily) October 2, 2015
Logan: "I'm not married to you...not my job!" #ShitMyKidsSay
7yo- You worked way harder than me today, dad.— Houle Family Dairy (@dailydairydiary) November 20, 2016
Me: I always will, lil buddy.
7: Not when you're dead.
Me: (Whispers) Jesus Christ.
Me: We all make mistakes.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 15, 2016
5: Even you?
5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?
My 11yo wrote me an apology for misbehaving in the car that included "I love you so much but sometimes forget to care about your existence."— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) April 27, 2016
Me: *sings along to radio*— Melissa McCartney (@ToastyGiraffe) November 26, 2016
3yo: why don't you let it sing all by itself?
Me:"Sweetie, what do you say when you do something wrong?"— Kathy Cooperman (@Kathy_Cooperman) April 4, 2016
4yo: "I didn't do that!"
7yr old daughter walked in the room, casually confirmed, "You have to have a backstory to why you're evil, right?" And walked out.— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 24, 2016
7yo: Why can't I have coffee?— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) August 13, 2016
Me: It'll make u even more energetic than u already are
7: But u drink it all the time& u never have energy!
Me: "Did you realize I'm the best dad in the house?"— Stuff My Kids Say (@StuffMyKidsSay3) May 7, 2017
My 13 yr-old: "Yeah, but you're also the worst dad in the house."
4-year-old: Can I have some of your candy?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 13, 2017
Wife: I got this for Mother's Day.
4: You're only a mom because of me.
10: Mom what's a metaphor?— Sardonic Tart (@SardonicTart) December 12, 2014
Me: My life is a train wreck.
10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
Me: I think I ate too much.— Aaron Aryanpur (@aaroncomedian) November 26, 2016
4yo: Yeah, but not just today.
I was arguing with my husband and my son screamed "yay! TWO christmases!" from the other room.— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) May 6, 2017
dad: "come on, you guys are LATE!!!!"— dadmissions (@Dadmissions) June 30, 2016
11yo: "you should have started YELLING at us earlier!"
7yo: I could see you and my teacher getting married.— The Dad (@thedad) September 1, 2016
Me: I'm married to your mom.
7yo: Well you could get a divorce.
(My 7yo is savage af.)
3yo: “You need to get your cuddles from someone else I am REALLY busy and you’ve already had enough”— Leena (@LeenaVanD) November 24, 2016
I didn’t birth you for such rejection
Me: Please get dressed.— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) September 1, 2016
9yo: But you're still in your pajamas!
Me: I AM dressed.
9yo: Is that what you're calling [waves palm at me] this?
(Man hobbles into grocery store using a cane)5: HEY MOM THAT MAN IS USING A WALKING STICK BC HIS BONES AREN'T STRONG & HE'LL DIE SOON RIGHT— Sweatpants Cher 🔶 (@House_Feminist) June 3, 2016
6-year-old: I wrote a book.Me: Like me?6: No. Mine is good.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 12, 2019
Me: “See this? It’s a fossil of a fish that lived FIFTY MILLION YEARS AGO!”— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) May 11, 2017
7yo: “So you were almost born then, right?”
6: Wanna play school with us?Me: Sure, I could use a break from cleani-6: Ok, you be the janitor.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 23, 2016
Me: Get out of bed.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 24, 2016
Me: Why do you fight me every single morning?
4: Because you never learn.
With moments like these... it's no surprise that many people can see beyond kids' innocent facade to the little devil lurking underneath. I mean, you love them but sometimes you wonder if they were really born without a filter. And the worst part, half the time, you can't even get in a good retort. They're that savage.