Can you imagine being trapped in your own mind, constantly questioning everything without being able to escape? The one you love, the overthinker, lives like this every single day, and that's why you need to know how to ease their anxiety.
Loving an overthinker means loving someone whose mind is busy all the time. You love someone whose mind has no "off" button, someone who struggles with millions of questions buzzing around their head every minute of every day.
It's not that they want it to be that way. They just can't control their thoughts. There is never a moment of peace inside their heads and can only do so much to keep from completely drowning in a myriad of feelings.
You might catch them in a moment of calm and stability. But then something happens and that fragile sense of groundedness is shattered as their mind takes over. The overthinking starts again. "What if I had done this?" "What should I do?" "Am I the reason for it?" "Did something go wrong?" It's just variations of these questions on repeat and they can't even escape it.
These are people who have no choice but to take one thing at a time. Decisions take effort and time because they need to analyze everything and only the moment they are one hundred percent sure that they have come to the right one, will they actually take it. But that isn't the end of the line for them. The moment one problem is solved, their mind goes into hyperdrive and they start overthinking about something else.
So when you decide to love someone who overthinks, you have to go in knowing that patience is key. You'll also have to be prepared to be the one who can calm down and keep them from breaking into pieces. Showing them you understand will actually be the only order in the chaos of their mind.
They need you to be their buoy when they're drifting out into a sea of endless problems and questions. They need you to be the one to bring them back to land and reality. They need to know that you will be there as they meander through this maze called life.
Chances are, at some point or the other, they're going to keep beating themselves up and that's when your love will count the most. Showing them that they're not alone and that it's okay for them to be scared will make a world of difference. Telling them you love them 200 times a day might be slightly bothersome to you but to them, it's those words that will help them tide the storm. It's what relaxes them and gives them that moment of peace that they've been craving. Even though they're not big on trusting words, the fact that you make the effort to actually tell them so many times, that's what matters.
Being honest with them can help them slowly peek out of those walls they've been guarding themselves with. When they know what's going on inside your heart and mind, it gives them the feeling that you really do understand them. Knowing that they never have to worry about hidden intentions and cryptic messages can go a long way in easing their anxiety.
Staying in a relationship with them means constantly showing them what a beautiful person they are, no matter the mess in their minds. Pointing out the good qualities they have can be good for them.
Going through all of this may seem like too much of an effort. It can be hard. But which relationship isn't? An overthinker can drive you crazy, annoy you, anger you and so much more. But one fact that remains solid is that they really and truly love you. Their loyalty lies with you and it can be one of the greatest experiences ever.
Your love and patience will never go unappreciated with them. They know how difficult they can be. After all, it's something they've already over-analyzed. But the fact that you stuck around... that gives them hope. And their love for you is no less intense. Your flaws, your quirks, your problems... nothing fazes them and they love you all the more for it. It is exactly this love that gives you both the strength to never give up on what you have with each other.