Not all ex-spouses are the worst humans trying to make your life harder. This man is truly proof enough.
Couples fall in and out of love all the time. However, that doesn't mean that they lose respect for each other. If the film Run Away Bride is to be believed, separated couples can even be each other's best friends. Some couples are better off as friends and just co-parenting can be a peach. A father of two boys, Billy Flynn Gadbois from Boston, is leading the way forward in that regard.
The ex-husband did something kind for his ex-wife that many people may not agree with. On her birthday, he helped his little boys make breakfast for her and get flowers and a birthday card. He was asked why he still does things to make an ex feel good he said that he is raising two little men and wants to set an example about how to treat women right.
"Per usual someone asked me why the hell I still do things for her all the time," Gadbois wrote, according to TODAY. "This annoys me. So I'ma break it down for you all. I'm raising two little men. The example I set for how I treat their mom is going to significantly shape how they see and treat women and affect their perception of relationships."
"So if you aren't modeling good relationship behavior for your kids, get your sh*t together. Rise above it and be an example. This is bigger than you. Raise good men. Raise strong women. Please. The world needs them, now more than ever," he wrote on Love What Matters Facebook page.
The 36-year-old told Today that divorced parents shouldn't show petty behavior in front of kids. "We decided early on that we were going to put the effort into co-parenting," he said. "We just think it's really important to show each other respect and care in front of the kids. Kids want to take care of their parents, and they can't do it alone. So if it's Mother's Day and the kid doesn't have anything to give to his mom... that doesn't feel so great," he added.
He is not the only one who thinks like that. An NYC divorce lawyer Val Kleyman had also commented on the matter in favor of rising above negative feelings in a divorce process.
"The parent that places the interests of their children first before their own interests, feelings, emotions, and desires even in the face of animosity and high conflict with their former spouse, is the parent that will gain the favor of the court," Kleyman said, according to a press release.
It is known that divorce affects self-esteem, learning abilities, confidence, view of gender roles, and many other psychological factors, of children greatly. In light of that, if former spouses can be positive role models for their children those effects can be reduced to a large extent.
"Not every parent needs to go as far as Mr. Gadbois has gone and greet their ex with breakfast and flowers, but keeping peace, understanding your role as a parent and raising your kids separately but cooperatively should be the goal of every parent," Kleyman advises.
Divorce doesn't have to be a damaging process that negatively shapes the lives of the children in the middle of it; it can be done amicably, this dad has showed.