Now that she has found out about it, she wants them out of her and her family's life.
A young mom was left shocked and horrified after she discovered that her in-laws have secretly conducted a paternity test on her newborn baby girl to be sure if their son was her father. She revealed that they did the test when they were watching on the baby in her absence and now she wants to cut them off her family's life. She shared her dilemma on Reddit and asked if she was right in thinking so.
She began with a bit of a backstory:
"My(22) boyfriend(23) and I have been on and off for 4 years. We have had our share of problems like any relationship but I think the biggest problem is his parents. My boyfriend comes from a very upper-class family and I don’t. We met when he was in college for a high pay job and I was just waitressing. They have always thought I was just there for money. 6 months ago I gave birth to a very much unplanned but beautiful baby girl."
She continued to say that they have always doubted the legitimacy of their baby even when she was pregnant and have tried to insinuate that their son isn't her father. "His parents were pissed about this and from the start of my pregnancy kept trying to say that they didn’t think it was my boyfriend's baby. My boyfriend did his best to keep them civil but they are truly unbearable people and could never keep their mouth shut."
However, she noted that after her baby was born they had a change in heart and proved to be hands-on grandparents. "When our daughter was born they actually did become great grandparents about a couple of months after her being born. They offered to keep her tons when we needed breaks and really helped us out when buying the things she needed. Always returning her with new outfits, bottles, toys, etc."
As soon as the young mom started developing an affection for her in-laws, things went horribly wrong. She explained, "So anyways a few weeks ago my boyfriend came home in a pretty bad mood. I asked him why and at first he didn’t want to tell me but in the end he decided it be best if I knew. He told me that his parents let slip they had taken our daughter to get dna tested about a month after she was born. Of course, the results came back that my boyfriend was her father but he was pissed they would even do something like that without our consent."
This news clearly did not go well with on the new mom, and she is now planning on cutting all ties with them. She continued the post saying, "I’m not gonna lie sometimes my anger gets the best of me but at this point I was livid. I called his parents and immediately told them they were cut off. I told them I don’t need their money and I’m disgusted that they would stoop so low. I said I didn’t want my daughter around people that thought so little of me and would obviously only try and convince her of the nonsense they think about me. They “apologized” and said they only wanted what was best for their son and that I couldn’t blame them for trying to be good parents. In the end I hung up on them trying to convince me that they had all the reasons in the world to do that test without my permission."
While her boyfriend does understand her anger and annoyance, he wants her to reconsider her decision of cutting them off because though upset he still wants them in his life.
In the end, she confesses that she does not want her baby to grow up around people who thought so little of her and asks if she is being unreasonable for wanting that.
Some commenters supported her without a question as quoted by:
“'Good parents' would support their son in his decision not to question his daughter’s paternity, not get a DNA test behind his back," wrote one commenter. "Plus, their apology was clearly fake if they were trying to convince you that what they did was right. They have proven themselves to be dishonest and untrustworthy, and who needs grandparents like that?"
Another person noted just how devious the entire thing was. "By the sounds of it they got the test not as confirmation the child was his, but to try and prove the child wasn't. They tried to use a child as a weapon against you."
Some others suggested that she is right in being angry at them but cutting them off seems too extreme:
"[Y]our boyfriend needs to be the one who makes his own decision about how involved he is in their lives and you have to accept that. Controlling your partner is not the way to go, I hope he sees the light, but please do not accuse him of not caring if he does decide to see them from time to time (with your kid though that must be a joint decision)."
This is a totally subjective call and all one could do is wish that the mom does what is best for the baby!