His reaction to every stage of grief could be deeply felt by anyone who has gone through a similar tragic experience.
No pain in the world could be worse than losing a child. This is the kind of pain that could be hardly expressed in words or actions. It could neither be described nor kept suppressed in the heart. Time also, cannot lessen the pain but we learn to live with it. With an empty feeling in the heart, we accept the reality at some point and wish the best for their soul.
But coping up with the loss of your bundle of joy can be tough beyond imagination and singer Prince's grief after the passing of his newborn proves it right a hundred times. The iconic American popstar spent his entire life in agony and emptiness as he could never overcome the pain of losing his little prince. It was only after his death, the details of his painful life after their child's loss started seeping out.
Prince and his wife Mayte Garcia were filled with joy when they learned that they are going to be parents for the first time. They started elaborate preparations to welcome their little prince in their home. A beautiful nursery along with an outdoor swing set was built for the soon-coming baby. In the meantime, doctors advised him to get a test for genetic abnormalities done. The When Doves Cry hitmaker, however, chose to not go ahead fearing miscarriage.
He, instead, prayed for his unborn child, "Please, bless this child. We know you won’t allow this child to be harmed,” according to Vanity Fair. With undying faith and excitement in their hearts, they waited for their baby and also picked a heavenly name. They decided to name him Amiir, the Arabic word for Prince.
After nine months of feeling his innocent presence in their skin and his wife's womb, it was finally time to welcome him to the loving world which they had created for him. On 16 October 1996, their treasure of joy was finally in their arms. But one incident changed their lives forever and it never became how it was. Little Amiir did not cry. “Why is he not crying?” asked the singer. Soon, they discovered their son was born with a rare genetic disorder called Pfeiffer syndrome type 2. The day went from becoming the most auspicious to the most ominous day of their lives.
"They brought the baby over to us. He was curled on his side, gasping shallow little gulps of air. Because there were no lids to blink, his eyes looked startled and dry. I caught hold of his tiny hand, saying over and over, ‘Mama loves you, Mama’s here,'” said Garcia in her memoir, The Most Beautiful: My Life with Prince. She described the expression on her husband's face after knowing the truth as "pure terror," reports the Mail.
"I don’t know how to describe the look on my husband’s face. Pure joy... And then they held the baby up to those harsh lights. The elation on my husband’s face turned to pure terror." It was as if his world tore apart in front of his eyes and stood their helpless.
After struggling to breathe for six days, Amiir left the mortal world leaving his parents irrevocably heart-broken and damaged. They brought the urn full of his ashes home, while Garcia lay on bed next to the urn for a long time, Prince could not stay in the house that was supposed to be filled with the innocent laughter and cries of Amiir. So, he left his house.
"Our son's ashes were brought to the house in an urn. I don't know how long I lay in bed with Amiir's ashes. The next day - or maybe it was a week later or in another lifetime - my husband came to me and said 'I can't be here. I have to go'," said Garcia.
The couple tried to have children again but was just disappointed. Soon, their marriage derailed and they divorced in 2000. “I meet a lot of people and I’ve learned that not many couples make it after the loss of a child. And then when you have another one, that was really hard on us,” she explained.
Things never got back to normal for Prince after the loss of Amiir. It was like a part of him was lost and he could never be whole again. In a moment of grief and rage, he had asked his assistant to burn every sign that reminds him of Amiir or Garcia.
“In some sad, painful moment, he had it all burned, as if fire could cauterize this deep wound he couldn’t close. I wasn’t there to witness it, and I can’t bear to think about it now," wrote Garcia, according to Extratv.
The emptiness never left him until he left the world. Speaking to People, his ex-wife said, "I don’t think he ever got over it. I know I haven’t."